How to Ask Someone to Be a Reference: With 15 Examples & Tips

Asking someone to be your job reference can help you grow your career, but it might seem tricky, especially if you're new or don't know the person well.

So, how do you ask someone to be your reference without feeling uncomfortable? When is the best time? And how can you do it in a polite, professional way?

This is a simple guide on how to ask someone to be a reference. We'll also include a sample message you can send via email or text, so you're ready to ask smoothly.

What are job references?

Job references or professional references refer to people who can vouch for your skills and professional experience, and recommend candidates to potential employers. As per the U.S. Office of Personnel Management, the goal of job references is to verify an applicant's work history and performance, and to help predict how well they will do in the new job.

Remember that choosing a job reference is important. Claudio Fernández-Aráoz, a senior adviser at Egon Zehnder, says that many jobseekers make the mistake of not realizing how important references are.

References provide "an accurate, third-party assessment of your strengths and weaknesses so managers can hire knowing full information," according to Fernández-Aráoz.

The talent expert also shared some strong references to consider, including:

• Former and current bosses who know your work
• Coworkers you've helped on projects
• People who have worked under you (like direct reports)
• Consultants, advisors, or clients who can talk about your skills
• People who have seen you take on new responsibilities or work on different projects

Why you need to ask someone first before listing them as a reference

Asking someone before listing them as a job reference is important as it shows respect, ensures they are comfortable endorsing you, and allows them time to prepare a strong, relevant recommendation.

MIT Sloan's Career Development Office advises to "always ask the reference's permission before sharing their name with a company." Also, Columbia University and Boston University give the same advice, which is to ask first so references have advance notice and context to provide accurate and helpful feedback.

How to ask someone to be a reference

So, how to ask someone to be a reference? The following steps can guide you through the process:

1. Choose references wisely: When compiling your reference list, pick someone who knows your work well and can speak positively about your strengths, such as a former manager, colleague, professor, or mentor. The closer their connection to your skills, the more credible their support will be.
2. Ask politely: Ask by email, phone, or in person and get their permission before listing them as a reference. A polite request shows respect for their time and lets them choose to accept or decline.
3. Provide context: Explain the role you are applying for and point out the skills or projects you'd like them to mention. For example, if the job values leadership, remind them of a project where you led a team. Remember that giving context helps your reference match their feedback to the employer's expectations.
4. Send your materials: Share your updated resume, the job description, and key achievements you want to highlight. This makes it easier for your reference to give clear and supportive feedback.
5. Express gratitude: Thank them sincerely, no matter their response. A short thank-you note or follow-up message shows appreciation and helps keep a positive professional relationship.

Templates for asking someone to be a reference

If you're ready to ask, having the right words makes it easier. Here are some templates to guide your request and help you approach potential references politely.

• Asking someone to be your reference via text

1. " I am currently conducting a job search and would like to ask if you would be willing to serve as a reference. Your perspective on my work and professional contributions would provide valuable support to my application. Please let me know if this would be acceptable to you."

2. "Hello [Name], I am pursuing a new career opportunity and would appreciate it if you could act as a reference on my behalf. Given your direct experience with my work, I believe your insights would be especially meaningful to potential employers."

3. "Hi [Name], I would like to ask if you are comfortable serving as a good reference for me as I move forward with job applications. Your knowledge of my skills and professional background would provide strong support in the hiring process."

4. "Hello [Name], I am currently applying for a position and would be grateful if you could serve as a professional reference. Having worked closely with me, you are well positioned to highlight my strengths, and your input would be highly valuable."

5. "Hi [Name], I am reaching out to ask if you would be willing to provide a professional reference for me. Your understanding of my work ethic and achievements would offer an informed perspective that could assist potential employers in their evaluation."

• Reference request email examples

6. Subject: Professional Reference Request

Dear [Name],

I am preparing applications for an upcoming role and thought of you as someone who could provide meaningful insight into my professional background. Your perspective would help demonstrate the skills and values I bring to an organization.

If you are comfortable with this, I will send along details about the position and the employer's process. I would greatly value your support.

Kind regards,
[Your Name]

7. Subject: Reference Request for Job Application

Dear [Name],

I am reaching out to ask if you would be willing to act as a professional reference for me. In our time working together, you observed my approach to projects and collaboration, which I believe would be valuable for potential employers to hear.

Should you agree, I can provide the job description, timeline, and any information that may assist you.

Thank you for considering this request.

Sincerely,
[Your Name]

8. Subject: Request for Professional Support

Dear [Name],

I am applying for a position that closely matches my skills and career goals, and I would be grateful if you could support me as a job reference. Your knowledge of my professional performance would carry significant weight during the hiring process.

If you are open to this, I can provide context about the opportunity and what the employer may ask.

With appreciation,
[Your Name]

9. Subject: Reference Request

Dear [Name],

I am pursuing a new opportunity and would like to ask if you could serve as a reference. Your experience working with me gives you an informed view of my abilities, which would help potential employers assess my qualifications.

I would be glad to provide details about the job title and next steps if you are available.

Thank you for your support.

Best regards,
[Your Name]

10. Subject: Request for Professional Reference

Dear [Name],

As I move forward with the next step in my career, I am reaching out to ask for your support as a reference. Your insight into my work ethic, skills, and contributions would provide meaningful context during the application process.

If you are comfortable with this, I will forward the job information and any additional details you may need.

Thank you for considering my request.

Sincerely,
[Your Name]

• Asking someone to be a reference over the phone

11. "Hello [Name], I wanted to ask if you would feel comfortable serving as a reference for me. I value your perspective on my work and contributions, and it would mean a lot if you could support me in this process. I can provide any details about the role or the employer if that would be helpful."

12. "Hi [Name], I'm applying for a new position and would be grateful if you could act as a professional reference for me. Your insight into my work and skills would be very meaningful, and I can share information about the role to make it easier for you."

13. "Hello [Name], I hope I'm not taking up too much of your time. I wanted to ask if you would consider serving as a reference for me. Your experience working with me gives you a clear view of my abilities, and your support would be very helpful to the hiring manager who will be reviewing my application."

14. "Hi [Name], I'm reaching out to ask a favor. Would you be willing to be a reference for me? Your knowledge of my work and professional strengths would be very helpful, and I would be happy to provide any information you need."

15. "Hello [Name], I'm in the process of applying for a new role and would be truly grateful if you could act as a reference. Your perspective on my contributions and skills would be valuable, and I can share all the necessary details to make it convenient for you."

FAQs

Here are some of the most frequently asked questions.

Is it OK to ask for a reference via email?

Yes, it is okay to ask for a reference via email, especially when in-person requests are not convenient. Experts advise confirming that the person is willing to act as a reference before listing them.

Can I put someone as a reference without asking?

No, it is not appropriate. As mentioned, career experts highlight that you must always ask for permission before listing someone as a reference to ensure they are willing and prepared to speak on your behalf.

Who of the following should you never list as a reference?

The following should never be listed as a job reference according to career experts from the Rockwell Career Center at the University of Houston, including:

• People you haven't been in contact with for years
• Individuals you do not truly know
• Acquaintances who know you only superficially
• Anyone you have never collaborated with professionally
• People with a negative reputation or history of conflict
• Those who have been disconnected from the workforce for an extended period
• Former supervisors who dismissed or terminated you