I hate my job. Ten years ago, it was fun and challenging. Even two years ago, I felt like my opinion was of value, and that I was having a positive impact on the company’s direction. At this point, however, after some unfortunate corporate choices at the upper levels, I have more responsibility than actual power. I’ve been forced to implement decisions I disagree with as if they were my own. My heart races when I walk into the office, and I actually cried during my commute this morning. My husband is doing OK at his job, but my income has factored heavily into the family budget. We have two young boys headed for college someday. How can I know what to do and how to do it? I have a history of depression, and my job isn’t helping me stay in a positive zone."
Your body is already telling you what to do. The racing heart, the tears -- these are emphatic indications that you are treating yourself in an unacceptable manner. Even if you began this current path with starry-eyed happily ever after in your heart, the relationship has changed. You don’t feel valued and are going through the motions. Your present inability to match action and principle has compromised your personal integrity. Your body is saying "no." Yes, something does have to change because this is a dysfunctional situation.
You can wait for management to have an epiphany, but do you really want to loiter in the lobby waiting for a happy ending? You're missing the show, waiting for someone else to lead you to your seat. Unless there are clear signs that change is in motion, there simply isn't enough popcorn in the bucket to make that worthwhile. So, this next step is up to you.
Rash choices can generate a string of reactionary responses, so it's good to thoughtfully consider your options and act rather than react. But you do need to act. If placing yourself on the bar graph helps, five years is the outside edge of the average job tenure, and you've doubled the math on this. Instead of being miserable, why not recognize this chance to launch toward your next opportunity?
Here’s how: Sit down with that husband of yours after the kids are settled in for the night and start dreaming. There's something better out there that might make your heart pump with excitement rather than race with dread. It might be with another company. It might lie within a whole new career direction. Can you get excited about this? If not, I can be excited for you until your brain catches up to the possibilities.
So, you might have to cut a few expenses and live with a curtained future for a while as you map out your new career path. Try to envision it as a well-wrapped gift, yet to be opened. Isn't that better than living within a reality that is completely unreal to you? Psst. Yes, it is. Trust me on this.
If you have a question for Heather, email her at Heather@heatherdugan.com and maybe she'll answer it in her next column!